🚨🍏 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE APPLE DUNGEON 🍎: MacBook Pro is about to get a glow-up more dramatic than your favorite reality TV star’s mid-season makeover 💅🔥! So, Bloomberg’s Mark Gurman (who MUST have the Apple PR team on speed dial) says next year, we’re getting a MacBook Pro with an OLED touchscreen. Yes, you read that right! A touchscreen! 🎉 Touch Bar who? This is like Drake pointing at a hopeful stonks chart—no cap! 📈 But wait, there’s more! Apparently, the M5 chip will come with enough power to make you question your life choices while gaming and working, and the battery will last longer than your average relationship—24 hours! 🥴 It’s still gonna taper into 2025 due to OLED supply chains playing hard to get, but we’re all just here for the tea 🙄☕️. Developer quote? "We wanted it to make coffee too, but that's too advanced for Apple." 💀💼 And here’s my hot take: Next year, we’ll have a MacBook Pro that levitates, has an in-built Alexa, and can bake a pie—all while you scream “this is fine” as your other devices melt into silicon oblivion 🔥🤖. So, submit your applications for the Apple Cult of the Future today! 🚀✨ #TooMuchApple #iAmTheStorm