🚨📉 STONKS ALERT: Apple just dropped the MacBook Air M4 to a *historic* price of $799! 🍏💸 They say it's lightweight, but it's about to lift your wallet heavier than your expectations! No cap. 🤑💪 👀 This isn’t just any laptop – this sleek bad boy comes with 16GB RAM & 256GB storage, all wrapped up like a cozy little burrito of tech dreams. 🌯 And let’s not forget about that M4 chip – it’s faster than your friend's mom trying to cancel their Netflix subscription! 🚀🔥 Sure, the battery lasts **18 hours**, but let’s face it: you're just gonna spend that time scrolling TikTok and watching cat videos. Just sayin’. 😹📱 But wait! Stop right there! 🚧 The design is so **gorgeous** it might as well be modeled by a runway model. P3 wide color gamut? That’s fancier than my dating life, fam! 👗🤖 However, it has NO USB-C on the right side. 😱😤 What are we, cavemen? At this point, I’m convinced Apple just wants us to live in a constant state of frustration. “Hey, can I borrow a charger?” Lmao, cringe. 🙄💔 🎤 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “We removed the USB-C port because we really want to see how much people can cope. #Innovation” 😂🔥 So here’s my bold prediction: Soon we’ll be paying double for the “new” MacBook Air M4 Plus, just because it has TWO USB-C ports! 💀🎉 Buckle up, stonks gonna go brrrr! 🚀💥