🚨💸💻 BREAKING: Apple Deals So Good You’ll Need a Restraining Order From Your Bank Account 🚨💸💻 Listen up, fam! Apple just dropped discounts so juicy, they’ve got me questioning everything I know about fiscal responsibility! 🍏💰 💥 M3 MacBook Air? $500 OFF! 💥 (Drake meme: the one with "this for the boys" point) That’s not a deal; that’s a *steal*!! You could take your savings and blow it all on avocado toast—but let’s be real, no cap, you’ll probably just spend it on more Apple products. For the tech gods who want to flex, the M4 Pro MacBook Pro is slashing its price by $310! Stonks going up or down? It's like watching a cat meme—hilarious and unsettling all at once. 🐱💀 *Fake dev quote*: “I bought six just to feel something again.” And what’s this? A titanium Apple Watch Series 10 is now $196 OFF? Better hurry; you can’t afford to be late to brunch in the metaverse with that deal! ⌚️🚀 In conclusion, if you don’t snag one of these deals, you’re risking major cringe levels! 🤡🔥 **Unhinged Prediction**: Within six months, your oven will be an Apple device with a 0.5% discount. Y’all already know it’s coming! Get ready to bake those sales! 🍞💀