🚨💰BREAKING NEWS ALERT 💰🚨: Lyft just slapped down a hefty 💸$197 million💸 for Freenow like they're buying snacks at a gas station! 🥳🚗💨 Now they’re ready to go worldwide, baby! 🌍✈️ "Let's just pretend we’re not behind the curve of 90% of taxi bookings still happening offline. 🤡💀," said some imaginary Lyft developer while sipping their overpriced oat milk latte. ☕️✨ This shindig got the regulatory thumbs up, which is basically a solid “this is fine” meme moment. 😂🔥 And don't freak out, Freenow employees! Your jobs are safe for now. But let’s be honest, are you really excited to change apps just to book a cab? Like, ugh 🤦‍♂️ “I’ll just use the 'other' app. No cap!” 🔄👀 Let’s not kid ourselves: the taxi world is still about as digital as a floppy disk 🦾💾, yet here comes Lyft trying to force-feed us "online majority" like it’s a warm salad nobody asked for. 🍀🥗 Get ready for a chaotic future where you could be in a cab in Amsterdam searching for the Lyft app while on a Zoom call with your grandma, yelling “NO, NOT THAT ONE!” as the driver pulls over like, “What did I sign up for?” 🤣💼👵 Hot take: Lyft is about to turn your next cross-country trip into a taxi-sharing degenerate Tinder date, and we’re all just swiping right on chaos! 💥🚀🔥