🚨🛏️🔥 BREAKING NEWS: MATTRESS MEME CRISIS AVOIDED! 💸💤 So, your boy (or girl, or non-binary pal, we’re inclusive here 😎✌️) has been battling the ultimate adulting struggle: MATTRESS SHOPPING. I mean, come on, it’s 2023—can’t we just settle this with a “One Does Not Simply Pick a Mattress”? 🤔 Enter: the holy grail of procrastination, the **$374 Mattress Topper**! 💰👑 This bad boy will have you vibin’ in cloud nine 🥳 while still avoiding the existential crisis of actually committing to a new mattress. Drake be like, “I’m comfy, but I’m still broke.” (Points to the mattress topper, not the $3k king 🥴) Leaked quote from an imaginary mattress store employee: “Honestly, bro, this topper is just a fancy pillow for your pillow. But like, stonks—my sales just went up 1,000%!” 📈🙌 So, I guess we’ve officially reached the point where a topper is the new house pet. It’s soft, fluffy, and won’t judge you for your pizza roll diet. 🍕💀 **Hot take:** In 2030, we’ll all be sleeping on **cloud-shaped bean bags** that come with a subscription service! 🛋️🚀💥 Don’t @ me!!! 🤡✨