🚨💰BREAKING: HPE just took a fat L and lost about £730M on a deal with Mike Lynch's Autonomy—yikes! 😱💸 It’s like they bought a haunted house and discovered it was a clown convention. 🤡🚪💀 So, picture this: HPE, high on stonks, thinks they struck gold 💎🔧 with Autonomy. But nah fam, 2022 hits and BOOM 💥—fraud findings drop like a TikTok dance challenge gone wrong. Turns out, Lynch was pulling a fast one while wearing a top hat and evil mustache (classic meme villain vibes) 🎩👨‍🦰. The judge in London is like, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" and delivers the verdict like he’s dropping the mic after a roast battle. 🎤🔥 Imagine Mike Lynch up in the cloud, looking down like, “Bruh, I’m dead and still costing you money!” 😂👻 And now HPE is out here crying over their £730M loss like this is fine 🐶🔥. Leaked quote from an *imaginary* HPE developer: “We thought we were buying Oracle, but got the dollar store version instead! I just wanted to push codes, not a coffin!” 🤖💀 Hot take: in 5 years, we'll all be paying for software subscriptions with our souls. Bet. 🔮😈💀✨