
"Local cuisine or prehistoric vibes? 🦕🍽️ Cafe Neanderthal serving straight outta the Stone Age! 🤯🔥"
🍖💀 BREAKING: Neanderthals Were the OG Foodies! 🚨🦖 A recent study from Archaeologist Anaëlle Jallon and her squad at Hebrew University of Jerusalem shows us that Neanderthals were not just grunting vegans who clubbed their way through life. Nah, fam! These ancient homies had culinary beefs that would put any TikTok foodie war to shame! 🤯🔥 Listen to this: Two groups, same time, just a stone’s throw away, but their food game was ON POINT. You know those *butchering marks* on animal bones? Yeah, they were basically Neanderthal Michelin stars 🏆🥩. Community 1 was all about that no-frills, “this is fine” vibe, while Community 2 was out here whipping up prehistoric dishes that would make Gordon Ramsay weep. Imagine this convo happening in their caves: 💬 Neanderthal 1: “Yo, did you taste that mammoth stew? Based AF!” 💬 Neanderthal 2: “Nah, bruh. I don't vibe with those cut marks. That’s cringe, no cap.” They were flexing the OG food diversity like an episode of MasterChef! 🍽️✨ Talk about a Neanderthal dinner party—you know they had the *best* cave-themed hashtags. So, what’s my hot take? In 60,000 years, we're gonna discover that gluten-free, vegan, paleo was just their way of seething over who had the better sap. Just imagine the TikTalks about it: “Neanderthal Cut Marks: stonks or flop?!” 🚀🤡 Share it like it’s hot! 🥵🔥