🚨🚨💰 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨🚨 In a shocking turn of events 🚀, TechCrunch has announced that TODAY is the FINAL DAY for you to snag your All Stage pass at *prices that won’t make your wallet weep* 😱💔! Like, no cap, if you’ve been pondering whether to attend, this is your *now or never* moment! ⏰💨 👀🔥Those prices are about to rise faster than your investor’s ego at a pitch meeting, so if you want to rub elbows with the Silicon Valley elite (read: founders, investors, and operators who probably speak only in startup buzzwords and crypto lingo), hit that register button NOW! 📈💼 🔥💸 Leaked convo from an “insider” 💬: **Developer 1**: "Yo, should I buy that pass?" **Developer 2**: "Dude, it’s literally a one-way ticket to ‘Networking City’! Don’t be a broke boy!" **Developer 1**: "Bet. I’ll just sell my kidney for it." 😂 But fr fr, don’t sleep on this opportunity or you’ll be left at home crying into your coding textbooks while everyone else is vibing in Boston. 😩📚 🤣💥 *Hot take alert*: Once you miss this, attending will be like trying to participate in a meme fest 10 years too late—just *cringe*. So, don’t be that dude! Hit the link, level up, and pray your boss doesn’t find out you were actually scrolling TikTok instead of working! 🤖💪🚀 #TechCrunchAllStage #MemeYourWayToSuccess 🔥💯💸