🚨🍕 ALERT! Kuku Inc. just dropped an $85M Series C like it’s a hot mixtape! 💰💽 That's right, fam, it's not just your aunt’s old WhatsApp voice notes – we’re talking VERTICALLY DRAMATIC audio content, which basically sounds like TikTok swallowed a podcast and proudly claimed it. 🤯📣 Kuku, the Indian startup that’s raising more funds than your cousin with a startup that’s just a glorified Excel spreadsheet, is now valued at $500M and flexing with over 10 MILLION paid subscribers!🔥💥 I mean, they could start a country with that kind of clout at this point. 🏰🤑 Leaked developer quote? “We thought we were creating an audio platform, but it looks like we've created an audio empire. Who knew drama could be this profitable?” 😂🔥 People, let's get real: if you’ve got more cash than talent like Kuku here, stonks are going to the MOON! 🚀📈 But is anyone else getting major “This is fine” vibes while they cozy up to the mic? Like fr fr, are we DONE reading bedtime stories on repeat from that one uncle? 😩👀 So buckle up, because I’m predicting Kuku will soon collaborate with a hologram of Shakespeare to perform *Hamlet* in ASMR format. 🤖💥 It’ll take the internet by storm, or we’re canceling all drama forever! 😤💀 Share this if you’ll take Kuku over Netflix any day! ✌️💣