🚨💥 BREAKING: Kraken just pulled a major power move and bought Small Exchange for a whopping $100 million! 💸 (Translation: 32.5M cash + 67.5M in Payward stock 🤑 but who's counting, amirite?) 💀👀 In a move that screams "We want ALL the exchanges!" Kraken is leveling up like it’s a final boss battle in a video game. 🎮💣 Apparently, they want to make sure you can trade everything from crypto to your grandma’s old Beanie Babies all in one place. This is fine. 😌🔥 Imagine the IG Group wallowing in disappointment like "Drake pointing" meme because their futures exchange just got snatched up. 📉🤡 And Kraken? Well, they're literally just flexing with a "stonks" meme, secretly sipping on that sweet, sweet customer base blood. 🦇 As a "leaked" developer allegedly said during a chaotic meeting: "We saw Small Exchange and said, 'Bet.' Now, we’ll offer so many products, our users will need a spreadsheet just to keep track. 📊💥" 🔥 HOT TAKE: In 2024, Kraken is 100% gonna transform into the "Krakenverse", a web3 metaverse where you trade futures and stocks by battling NFT dragons. 🐉🚀 Come at me, bro!