🚨💩 BREAKING: Kohler just turned your toilet into a freakin' health clinic! 🤡👀💀 I know, right? The only thing worse than a "smart" toilet is a toilet with a camera—*cue horror movie music*! 🎥🚽💔 So, check this out: Kohler’s dropped $599 worth of "health tech" on the Dekoda 💰—the only toilet accessory that’ll spill your guts… literally! 🤣👍 Like, do I even want to know that my hydration status is "Ah, yeah, bro, you're DRY AF"? 🤔🚰💦 Imagine the convo at Kohler HQ: *"What if we put a camera in the bowl and called it wellness?"* and some intern just stares blankly like it’s a 2023 episode of Black Mirror. 🥴✨ This is definitely a *no cap* situation where you’ll see your bank balance drop while the toilet pipes update their TikTok following! 🔥💩😱 But let’s be real: What’s next? Smart **flushing** with AI? 🤖📉 A *toilet influencer* documenting people's bathroom habits? *Drake pointing* to another cringe fad? 🤣💔 🔥 HOT TAKE: In five years, we’ll be sharing #ToiletTales on social media and getting sponsorships from gut health brands. Watch out, influencers, the loo is the new frontier! 🚀💩✨