🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: The ultimate glow-up story is here! Enter Katie Haun: former federal prosecutor, now a crypto QUEEN reigning over stablecoins with her wand of LEGAL MAGIC! 🧙‍♀️✨ Our girl Katie went from putting criminals behind bars to putting STABLECOINS on the map with the GENIUS Act (irony levels: 1000). 🤡💼💸 *“I prosecuted bad guys, NOW I protect good coins,”* said Katie in a leaked Zoom call where she was probably sipping her matcha latte. 🍵👩‍⚖️ Remember 2018 when Bitcoin was just a baby at $4k? 😂 People thought “What’s this nugget of digital nonsense?” *Drake points in approval* 🚀✋ Until our girl came to the rescue. Think superhero vibes but with a briefcase instead of a cape. So here’s the tea: the GENIUS Act is like giving a seatbelt to a rollercoaster – it’s aiming to make those wild stablecoins safer. No cap, if you’re still sleeping on crypto, YOU'RE CRINGE. Wake up, fam! ✨💤 🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT: In five years, Katie will be running a small country called “CryptoLand,” where the national currency is DOGE and everyone’s wearing blockchain hoodies. THIS IS FINE. 💰🤖 Share this with your no-coin cousin, they NEED this chaos! 🥳🚀💥