🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: I’m Going to Be a DAD! And Here’s Why You Won’t See My Kid on the ‘Gram 🚫📸👶💔 So, your boy (wink wink) just leveled up in REAL LIFE and is about to join the Dad Squad! 🍼💪 But hold the phone 📱 – before you start organizing that "baby reveal" party with balloons and the whole shebang, lemme spill the tea! 🐸☕ I’m seeing too many friends and strangers *excessively* flexing their spawn like their toddler’s nap time is the next TikTok dance trend. 😱 Like, fr fr, do we really need to see your kid asleep in a cute outfit THAT YOU'LL NEVER LET THEM WEAR AGAIN? 🤡🔥 And let’s be real: the internet is a zoo 🦁💔. People act like posting little Timmy’s first word is a stonk-worthy investment 🚀📈. Like, nah fam, that’s coasting into cringe territory! 😬💀 Imagine this convo with my future kid: Kid: "Dad, why didn’t we take cute pics?" Me: "Because the internet’s a dumpster fire and I want you to have a shot at being a semi-normal adult." 🔥🚒 So, here’s my hot take: if I ever catch my kid modeling for a cringe #Ad campaign, I’m pulling the plug and turning our lives into a reality show called “No Filter: Parenting Edition.” 😱💰 Meme it, share it, change the world! WE'RE GOING VIRAL! 🤖💥 #DadLife #CopeSeethe #MemeMachine