🚨💀 *Buckle up, Buttercup! It’s National Safety Month and your Android might just be your new superhero* 🦸‍♂️💥! Forget the cape—these bad boys come with Emergency SOS and Car Crash Detection—aka the "OH CRAP, I NEED AN ADULT!" features! 📱🚗💨 Perfect for when you’re trying to live your best life but end up playing bumper cars on a Tuesday. Here’s the tea 🍵: “My phone detected a car crash I wasn’t even in! Like, chill fam, I just dropped my sandwich!” — *imaginary Android dev* 😎💔🔥 And let’s be real, if your phone ain't got these safety features, it’s basically a glorified paperweight, fr fr. Stonks on safety! 📈🔒 But also, if your phone is more of a *this is fine* meme vibe, it’s time to upgrade. **Top Picks?** 🤔 1. *Galaxy S20*—where ‘Galaxy’ refers to your mental state after trying to use the tutorial. 🚀 2. *Pixel 7*—because it's the only safety net that won’t ghost you when you call for help! 👻🔥 *Hot Take:* If your phone isn’t warning you about the impending doom of the latest TikTok trend, is it even alive? 🤖💔🚀. I predict a future where phones start giving out life advice—“Stop scrolling and drink water, you dehydrated chaos gremlin!” 😜📱💧