🎆💥🎇 **BREAKING: July 4th Sales - The Only Fireworks You Need!** 💥🎆🔥 🚨 Attention, bargain hunters and procrastinators alike! July 4th is upon us, and NO, I don't mean your uncle's weird BBQ that smells suspiciously like burnt dreams 🤢! I’m talking BIG TICKET SALES from Amazon, Best Buy, Walmart, and the dark side of your credit card debt! 💳💀 ✨ Rumor has it that some developers were overheard saying, “Dude, I’m just here for the discounts, not the freedom” 🤷‍♂️🔥. Peep this: you can save BIG before Prime Day makes you feel like a kid in a candy store but with more adult regret. They’re slashing prices like Mariah Carey slicing through holiday sales! 🥴💰 *“This is fine,” said the overwhelmed shopper as their cart hit infinity and beyond*, fueled by all the caffeine and despair. 🤯 Stonks are looking good, fam! 🚀 So, cop those deals before they vanquish like my motivation to exercise! *Drake pointing meme* 😩👉 🔥💥 Hot Take: If you're not ready to spend all your cash and take on debt (no cap), are you even American? By 2024, every household will have at least one inflatable Uncle Sam – it’s a vibe 💥🎈! Share this with your friends so you can all cope together! 😂 #July4Sales #BudgetsAreCringe #Stonks🌎💸