🚨🔥 BREAKING: Julie Wainwright vs. TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 - Where the REAL E-commerce Shit Hits the Fan! 🚀💥 Y’all better mark your calendars for October 27-29 ‘cause we’re throwin’ it down at Moscone West in San Francisco! 💰✨ Imagine 10,000+ startup founders, VCs, and tech wizards gathered like it’s the last supper of startup-dom. No cap, it’s like a buffet of cringe-worthy pitches and “innovative” networking that’ll make your skin crawl! 🤡🤑 But wait! The queen of e-commerce herself, Julie Wainwright, is about to drop some life-changing nuggets 🔥✨ in a fireside chat that’s as HOT as a TikTok dance challenge! 🌟💃 Picture this: Julie on stage, fueled by the power of a thousand caffeine shots, roasting the online marketplace while explaining how to turn your side hustle into a multi-million dollar empire. “I’ll show you how to flip that cringy thrift store find into stonks, baby!” 💸💸 Sources close to the event (aka my imagination 🤐) heard some intern say, “Honestly, if Julie doesn’t drop a bombshell about robot delivery drones, I’ll riot!” So grab your popcorn 🍿 and get ready to watch the sparks fly!🔥 My unhinged prediction? By 2026, we'll be ordering groceries through our brains, and Julie will be the first e-commerce cyborg CEO. 👽🤖 #TechNoCap #JulieForPresident #FiresideFrenzy