🚨💸 BREAKING: HACKERS are out here like they're the protagonists in a low-budget heist movie! 🎬🎭 Apparently, bad boys got their grubby little hands on customer data from JPMorgan Chase and Citi! Buuut it’s not just some random hackers, it’s our boys over at **SitmusAMC**, and lemme tell ya, this ain't no fancy restaurant 🍔🍟—it’s a THIRD-PARTY company serving up mortgage applications like hotcakes. 🥞 In a plot twist nobody saw coming (except the NSA), these hackers have exposed names, addresses, and phone numbers like they’re giving out free samples at Costco. 🥴🧀 “I guess data privacy is just *too mainstream* for these banks”, said a JPMorgan developer who probably spends too much time scrolling through meme pages. 🤡 And down the blockchain rabbit hole we go! This all comes on the heels of a DOORDASH data breach 😱. Call me crazy, but it seems like these data breaches are happening more often than my friends ghosting me after I ask them to split the bill. 💀 🔥👀 Prediction time: In 2024, we’ll see a new banking trend: “Data Protection Insurance” — for a small fee, you get to keep your own info to yourself. This is fine. 😩💰 #Stonks or #NoStonks? Share this while you still can, before the hackers slime their way in here, too! 🤖💀