🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Jon McNeill, the dude who’s about to school us on startups at TechCrunch All Stage 2025, just promised to throw the ol’ “make a perfect pitch and wait for investors” playbook straight into the moon! 🌕💫 Picture this: a stage, a mic, and Jon just flipping the script like it’s a pancake on the last day of school! 🎤🥞 You ever seen a CEO drop startup wisdom like it’s hot? 😂🔥 “Sometimes you just gotta throw all that boring advice in the dumpster and start innovating like your life depends on it!” - Jon McNeill (definitely a real quote, trust me 🤫). This guy is gonna tell us how to scale up WITHOUT losing our sanity. 🙃💰 No cap, you know it’s going to be straight 🔥. 🤖 Imagine if startups were like TikTok dances: short, sweet, and impossible to ignore! *Drake pointing* at traditional models like “You thought that would work?” 😂💀 So get ready to cope with the fact that conventional wisdom is dead! 💀👋 Mark my words: in 2026, we’ll all be running our startups with AI-powered toaster ovens because why not?! 🚀💥🔥 This is gonna be an absolute meme fest! Share it before it goes “stonks” 🚀🚀!