🚨💣 STOP THE PRESS! Jesse Draper just dropped a $30M bomb on the “future of family” with her new Halogen Ventures Fund III, and honestly? We’re all just trying to figure out if family means epic game nights or HR Zoom calls when Aunt Karen shows up!😬💼🦸‍♀️ First off, it's a family affair! Jesse's got the genetics of a venture capitalist 🧬💰 and the hustle of a toddler on a sugar rush. For real, this fund is like the Avengers, but instead of fighting Thanos, they’re going up against family dinners where someone inevitably brings up student loans. This is also where we drop the "stonks" meme, because even the most cringe families need funding. 📈💀 In a leaked Slack convo, Jesse was like, “I’m trying to fund ideas that won’t end up like my cousin’s failed venture into crafting artisanal bread at home. 🥖🤦‍♀️” 🚫😂 But let’s be real: is anyone really ready for the “future of family” powered by AI? Like, will we just have robot uncles and DIY emotional support pets? 🤖🐾 The tech is getting wild enough—what's next, VR therapy sessions for family feuds? 🌌 Here's my hot take: in 10 years, we’ll all be discussing our “digital relatives” at Thanksgiving and Aunt Karen *still* won’t understand what the cloud is. Prepare yourselves! 🚀🔥