🚨 BREAKING SPACE NEWS: JARED ISAACMAN IS BACK, BABY! 🚀👨‍🚀🔥 In a plot twist wilder than throwing your phone at your grandma just to see if she can dodge it, President Trump has announced that our boy Jared Isaacman is getting a second chance to lead NASA. Yup, you heard right! NASA! 🛰️😱 For real, this is more surprising than finding out pineapple on pizza is a legitimate debate 🍍🍕💢. “Jared’s passion for space?” More like, “Jared’s passion for making stonks go sky-high!” 💰💥 Sorry, Elon, but if you’re not careful, Jared's gonna launch your stock price past the moon. “Unlocking the mysteries of the universe”? Sounds like a 5AM Reddit post that turned into a NASA job description. And can we just take a sec to appreciate this dodgy nomination process? Like, “Hey, why not throw this guy a bone? He’s the *SpaceX* golden child! ✨ No cap, someone probably flipped a coin and said, “Heads: Isaacman, Tails: Pizza Delivery Guy!” 👀💀 LEAKED QUOTE: “Honestly, I still don’t know why I’m here,” Jared said, sipping on a cosmic latte. “But if I can sell tickets to orbit, I’m in!” DO I SMELL A NEW ERA FOR NASA OR IS THIS JUST SPACE DRAMA?🔥👀💥 Tinfoil hats on, folks: In 5 years, we might all be living on Mars, pouring Space Starbucks, while Jared Isaacman is gobbling up the cosmos like it’s Black Friday! 🌌✨ #SpaceIsThePlace #NASAjokes #Isaacman2.0