🐆💥 When will Jaguar Land Rover restart production? 🤷‍♀️ “No one actually knows.” 🤡💀 BREAKING NEWS: JLR is officially the *beige* of the automotive world! 🚗💨💤 They're on a permanent coffee break after a cyber-attack that made their entire operation look like a TikTok challenge gone wrong! #GetWrecked! 💔 Experts are saying the cyber goons could cost JLR over £3.5 billion, 👀💸 which is apparently just another day in the life of "Why Zoomers Don’t Buy Cars"™. How do you like your revenue? Toasted? Cuz that's what it looks like! 🔥😤 As the UK's supply chain faces emotional distress, **whispers** from “sources” say, "We’re just vibing in the server room — maybe we’ll order pizza next week? 🍕" Meanwhile, 200k workers are playing the world's longest game of *hide and seek* with their paychecks! 😭💸 Looks like the only thing jaguar-ing in the next few months will be my sleep as I wait for these lush, overpriced vehicles to reappear on the market. 💤💤 🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Brace yourselves for a **Premiere of the Next Level of Cringe™**: “The JLR Zero Production Cars”! 🤖🚀 Because who needs wheels when you can sob in your living room over your broken dreams? 🥴💔 Stonks? More like STINKS!