🚨💥🚀 BREAKING CHAOS ALERT! 🚀💥🚨 So, Jack Dorsey, the master of “Who’s gonna take my selfie?” just dropped a new app called **Bitchat** (yes, you heard that right, BITCHAT! 😂), and no, this isn’t a Venmo for your rants— it’s basically Bluetooth messaging for all the socially awkward geese out there! 🦢💬👀 Imagine it: You’re at a party, and instead of yelling across the room for someone to pass the chips, you just tap your phone like you're trying to summon a demon. 🪄🔥 The app is open-source, encrypted, and works without WiFi—so tell your internet connection to take a nap! 😴💻 Jack says it’s all about “Bluetooth mesh networks” or whatever—sounds like he’s trying to invent a new WiFi 🤡💀. And let’s be real, if your social skills are as rusty as a 90s dial-up connection, Bitchat could be your new BFF. But hold up—what’s this “Panic Mode”? Is it a feature to erase those cringe messages you sent at 2 AM or just a way for Jack to erase all evidence of this app after a week? 🤷‍♂️🔎 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: In a few months, Dorsey’s gonna try to monetize this bad boy with ads for "How to Talk to Other Humans" 🙃💸. MARK MY WORDS, THIS IS GONNA BE A THING. So grab your iPhone and start summoning people near you like you’re casting a spell on the social universe! 🧙‍♀️✨📱💰 #Stonks #Bitchat #SociallyAwkwardMasters #BasedAndBluetoothPilled