🚨BREAKING NEWS ALERT🚨: Supercomputers are leveling up faster than your friend who claims they're “just doing one more game” of Fortnite. 🎮💀 So, WIRED 👀 snagged an interview with Jack Dongarra – not to be confused with your local Joe who talks about “AI” while flipping burgers at the drive-thru. 🍔💪 He’s like the Gandalf of computer science, spinning tales of how AI 🤖 and quantum computing ⚛️ are about to throw supercomputing into hyperdrive! 🚀💨 Imagine your computer running Fortnite battling your grandma’s toaster with an IQ of 9000. THIS IS FINE. 😳🔥 Dongarra claims that soon we'll have supercomputers that can not only predict when your phone will die 📱💔 but also create the fastest TikTok dances... in 5D! 🕺💃 One "leaked" developer quote claims, “Dude, it’s like giving a racing engine to a goat. 🐐💨 The goat doesn't care! It’s just vibing! But bro, we’re all in for the chaos!” Stonks 🚀📈 are about to hit the moon because who needs real-life interactions when you can send a quantum supercomputer to do the socializing for you? 🤡 🔥🔥🔥 Hot take: By 2025, supercomputers will be our new overlords, and we'll all have to pass a potato salad recipe test to communicate with them. Copium anyone?💰💥