🚨 BREAKING 📉: IRS Kills Free Tax Filing – They're Basically the Grinch But for Your Refunds 💸💔 In an epic twist that has all the plot armor of a B-list superhero flick, IRS Commissioner Billy "Big Beautiful Billy" Long just dropped a bomb 💣 on taxpayers everywhere: DIRECT FILE IS DEAD 💀! Why? 'Cause why make it easy when you can just prank everyone harder than a TikTok challenge gone wrong? 🤡 Remember that shiny new Direct File service we all thought was gonna save our wallets? Yeah, about that… Turns out, in classic IRS fashion, it’s been thrown into the trash 🚮 like last week's unclaimed Amazon returns. And all we got in return is a task force to *replace* it. 👀 "I don’t care about Direct File. I care about direct audit," said Long, proving he's never actually filed taxes. 🙈 This feels like a political version of Drake’s “Hotline Bling,” where the IRS just hit us with that cold shoulder. If you're looking for efficiency, you might want to consult the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) 🐶 - aka the equivalent of using dial-up in 2023! 🔮 Hot Take Time: Prepare for a new IRS horror movie titled "The Tax Files: Dead inside edition." Tax season will soon require a therapy fee on top of your return! 💰💀 Keep those receipts handy 'cause it’s about to get SCARY out here! 🎃🔥