🚨🦄BREAKING NEWS, Y’ALL! Your favorite browser is officially still chained to WebKit like a dog to a fire hydrant! 🔥🐶💩 So check this out: It’s been 🌕 16 months since some *so-called* "DMA ruling" in the EU told Apple, "Hey, let the browsers breathe!" 🐒💨 But what do we see? NADA, ZIP, ZILCH! Where the heck are those spicy, WebKit-free browsers, Google and Mozilla? 🍦❓ According to the venerable Open Web Advocacy (OWA), Apple’s putting up more barriers than a toddler playing Fortnite! 🛑👶💥 Apparently, they’re serving extra-helpings of “technical and financial restrictions” like a meme lord at a buffet. 🍽️💸 So, picture this: Apple’s all like, “New app or bust, fam,” making devs restart their user count like they're Santa trying to count his reindeer after getting WASTED at the holiday party. 🎅👀✨ Forget the stonks! 📉💀 This is straight-up tragic! Mozilla was out here #disappointed last year, saying, "C'mon, Apple, we’re just tryna flex with our Blink engine like Drake pointing at the hot new trends!" 🤦‍♂️🔥 🔮💥 Now here’s a YUGE hypothesis: What if Apple just wanted to keep the WebKit throne all to themselves for the next 200 years? 💀👑 If you think I’m joking, you must not know how Apple rolls 🤪🥴. #MemeChaos #iOS #WebKitWoes 🚀✨