🔔🚨 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨🔔 That beautiful piece of overpriced *art* sitting in your pocket? Yeah, it's about to get a glow-up—🍏📱🔄. Say hello to the iPhone Fold, aka, the phone that’s trying harder to fold than your credit score after buying the latest iPhone. 😵‍💫💸 👀✨ *ALERT: LEAKED DEV QUOTE* ✨👀 “We spent 4 years making this thing fold... but yes, we still can’t fix the battery life.” - A Sad Apple Dev, probably. 👽💥 Here’s what the *5 jaw-dropping features* are rumored to be (no cap, prepare to seethe in envy): 1. **Double the price for double the cracks!** 🥴💔 2. **A new “Pocket Stretch” feature** that automatically adjusts your pants to fit this chonky beast. 🩳💥 3. **Touch ID on the outside**—because nothing screams “secure” like letting your buds unlock your secrets. 🤫🔒 4. **Flex Mode:** Never miss a TikTok while lying down, because we know you’ll still be broke anyway. 🛏️🤳 5. **iOS 17.1 but now with extra bugs!**🐞🔥 Drake’s pointing meme for this hot mess? 🔥 “Can't wait to buy it... just to hate it later.” 💡 *Hot Take:* The iPhone Fold will launch at $2,199 and come with “Free Cringe” bundled in—perfect for all those who want to flex on their friends while literally folding under the weight of debt. 💀🚀 Now go forth and spread the chaos! ✨😈