🚨💀 Hold onto your overpriced Latte macchiatos, squad! The iPhone 17 is officially *scratching* its way into the hall of shame! 🔪📱💔 Reports are flooding in that the Pro in Deep Blue and the Air in Space Black are basically Venus flytraps for scratches! 🤡📉 Users are practically screaming "LOOK AT THIS CRINGE" as they snap pics of those poor demo models looking like they just finished a UFC fight. According to a *totally legit* source at Apple — let’s call him Tim C. (for Cringe) — he said, “Dude, we told QA to just *make it pretty*, not sturdy.” 👀🤦‍♂️ But wait! 🚨 Our fave tech wizard, JerryRigEverything, decided to serve the iPhone 17 a side of *punctures* using keys, blades, and some spare change. 💰🗝️ And guess what? This beautiful mess came out covered in scratches worse than your high school crush's diary! So, to all you stonks and no-stonks fans: Is Apple about to have a meltdown? 🤯 Or will Tim Cook send out a few cheap cases and call it a day? My hot take? The iPhone 17 will be the new basic “Phone for All” in 2024 💀🚀. #ScreechAndSeethe 💥🤖