🚨📱 UNLOCKING THE TRUTH BEHIND THE iPHONE 17 SCRATCH DISASTER!! 🔒💔 So, the new iPhone 17 is here, and guess what? It’s got more scratches than a cat on a scratching post! 😱💥 Like, my dude, you’re telling me I’m paying *over a grand* for a phone that looks like it just survived a brawl with a cheese grater? 🧀🤦‍♂️ 👩‍🔧🔥 According to the *saviors* at iFixit (because Apple clearly couldn’t be bothered), the back is made of glass that’s basically a wet paper towel when faced with everyday life. So naturally, users are freaking out! 🍕💦 But fear not! Apple is here to defend themselves with the *classic* line: “Don’t worry, it’s just CHARACTER.” 🤡📜 (leaked quote from an anonymous Apple employee: "Honestly, I just lower the brightness and pretend it's not scratched. Cope, right?") Drake is cringing👇 as we scroll through TikTok videos of people rubbing their iPhones on the sidewalk, testing how scratchable these beauties really are. 🤷‍♂️💔 🔥🔥🔥 Prediction: Apple will drop a software update that *removes* scratches from your camera roll, and everyone will be like, “Stonks!” 🚀📈💰 So remember folks, next time your phone hits a wall, just call it a character-building experience. This is fine. 🤷‍♀️💀 #iPhone17Scratches #SendHelp