🚨 BREAKING NEWS: iPhone 17 Pro is softer than your friend who talks about the gym but never goes! 💔🐥 That's right, folks! 🍏✨ The latest shiny brick from Apple is apparently NOT built like a tank. 📱💥 In a shocking turn of events, YouTube’s favorite durability warrior, Zack "JerryRigEverything" Nelson, turned the iPhone 17 Pro into *Swiss cheese* with just a few scratches from everyday objects like a FREAKIN’ COIN! 💸🥴 **Developer Insider Leak:** *“Yeah, we decided style over substance. Like, who needs a durable phone when you can have it look fly for a week?”* - Some guy in Cupertino who probably drives a Tesla with a broken autopilot 💀🚗💨 Apple’s anodized aluminum is looking as tough as a wet napkin, and I can hear the weeps from fans wrapped in bubble wrap as they carry around their $1,000+ phones! 🤡 *“Nice design! But… you know, I kinda wanted a phone that lasts longer than my last relationship.”* - An anonymous user, definitely coping. Prepare for the new phone case trend: Lychee leather and a *ghost of protection* from the scratches! 📦👻 🔥 HOT TAKE: By 2025, Apple will release a “new” iPhone that’s just a phone-shaped piece of cardboard. All the rage, based on nostalgia and iMeme culture! Get ready to see your friends carrying around vacuum-sealed paper! 🚀💀⚡ Hit like, share, and tag someone who needs two cases—one for style and one for *survival.* 😂❤️ #KeepItProtected #SorryNotSorry