🚨 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨: Apple just dropped the iPhone 17 Pro & Pro Max, and it’s like they took the previous models, added a sprinkle of *magic pixie dust*, and then BOOM 💥, we’re now in the THERMAL COOKER ZONE! 🔥 😎 We're talking about a vapor chamber so hot it might as well come with a warning: *Do Not Microwave* 🍕🚫. So I decided to turn into a gaming addict just for this review. No Triple-A nonsense here, just me vibing with *Snake Clash* like a true tech degenerate 🎮🤡. Imagine you're on the throne, conquering snakes while contemplating existential dread (or is it just a hemorrhoid?) 😱💩. Got my iPhone 16 Pro in a sweat lodge, but apple of my eye, the 17 Pro & Pro Max, they put the *vape* in vapor chamber! Could they actually handle my addictive gaming marathons? 🏃‍♂️💨 Gotta say, my *unofficial Apple source* (let’s call him Steve Jobs’ ghost 👻) said, “If it ain't heating up, you ain't trying hard enough!” 😂💀 So, it’s basically a race to see which heating element explodes first! 🔥 Here’s the hot take of the day: This phone isn’t just for calling; it’s for cooking! 🍳 In 2024, Apple will ditch the iPhone and just sell *EASY-BAKE OVENS* instead. Stonks??? 🚀💰