🗣️ Hold onto your butts, iPhone stans! The iPhone 17 Pro Max is about to drop, and it looks like Apple’s taking "more is more" to a whole new level! 📱💥 Rumor has it that the world’s most overpriced paperweight will be packing DANGEROUS features. I’m talking about a screen so big it practically needs its own postal code! 🏠💌💰 No cap, this thing could be used as a surfboard in an emergency! 🏄‍♂️ 🔥 "Leaked" developer quote: "We wanted to build something that screams 'I’m broke but I’m fabulous!' Like, who needs a house when you can pay for a phone that can literally take high-res selfies from 50 meters away?!" 🤖💀 It’s also rumored to have a charging speed so fast that you can literally charge it while vacuuming (because who even vacuums anymore?) 🧹📈 DRAMA! And guess what? It might *actually* NOT explode if you leave it on your bed. Stonks! 💸📉 But let’s be real, if you can’t afford it, just remember that there’s always the “This Is Fine” meme. 🚪🔥 And my totally unbiased prediction? By mid-2024, the iPhone 17 Pro Max will somehow double as a life coach that judges your decisions. “Really? You spent your last paycheck on me? 🤡💀” This is your sign to reconsider your life choices, fam! 🚀✨ #DoItForTheGram