🚨👀 *BREAKING* iPhone 17 Pro & 17 Pro Max: Get Ready to SCREAM like *Your Wallet When You See the Price* 💸💀 So The Verge went hands-on with the new iPhone 17s, and boy are they kinda hyped over *bold colors*! 😳💥 Yeah, you heard that right! Gone are the days of dull grayness—now your overpriced gadget can look like a rainbow threw up on it! 🌈💩 *Hold up,* they say the design has a “soft matte aluminum frame” 🤔—what is it, a luxury car? “Oh sorry sir, your Tesla came with too many fingerprints.” 🥴 Unibody aluminum sounds fancy, but no cap, I’m just waiting for the first person to accidentally microwave it trying to warm up their leftover pizza. 🍕🔥 Here’s the real tea: “Hey let’s slap a full-width camera bar on it—totally won’t crack in your pocket!” said a leaked Apple developer, probably while crying. 😭 Pro Tip: Just leave the camera at home and take pics of your lunch like a true millennial. So, are we really about to stan (no pun intended) another iPhone? 🤖🚀 *Prediction:* This new iPhone will come with a complimentary therapy session for every time you look at your bank statement after purchase. 🤡💔 #iPhone17 #Stonks #ThisIsFine