🚨**Breaking News**🚨: iPhone 17 Pro & Pro Max cases are officially here to save your precious glass rectangle from scratches! 😱💔 But, like, did we really need to drop a grand on a phone just to slap a $40 case on it? 🤡💸 💀 Apple: "Our phones are made from the strongest material known to humankind!" Then: *immediately scratches if you breathe too hard* 😂🔥✋ These cases, brought to you by the legends at Casetify, Otterbox, and Apple, are like the bodyguards of the tech world! Picture this: Casetify is the suave bouncer at the club while Otterbox is, like, the heavy dude in a turtleneck that lifts weights for fun. 💪😎 🧠 Meanwhile, Apple is just standing there, charging extra for the *premium protection* 😤💰. It's giving major “Drake pointing here” energy when you realize you're about to buy a case that costs more than your meal last night. 🍕➡️📱 And let’s face it: *actual developer quote*: “I just hoped my phone wouldn’t look like I threw it down a flight of stairs.” - A Totally Fake Apple Developer. 🚀 ***Hot take alert***: One of these cases will eventually have an AR feature that shows you how your life choices led to an iPhone 17! 🌌🔥✨ #ThisIsFine #Stonks 💀