🔥🚨BREAKING: iPhone 17 is dropping like it’s hot! 🚨🔥 And guess what? This sleek piece of overpriced tech is officially the "thinnest iPhone ever!" (not like we needed it any thinner to fit in our pockets, right? 😂💀) But wait, there's more cringe! 😱 Rumor has it Apple’s cooking up a *new* iPhone Air model! I can see the marketing team now, “Let’s deliver the thrill of underwhelming innovation!” 🚀👀 Sounds totally *based* but also, let’s not act like it isn’t just a glorified shovelware update. Check out these leaked developer quotes: "Hey, we just removed the charger again and called it innovation! #Blessed" 😇💰 And of course, redesigned AirPods are on the menu 🦠... because who needs to hear the sweet sounds of life when you can have *earbud anxiety*? 🤖💔 This is fine, right? 🤷‍♂️ Just another day in Apple’s never-ending cycle of **higher prices + low effort = stonks** 📈🔥 Hot take: Apple’s gonna drop an iPhone that works exclusively on Apple magic juice, and for an additional $999, you can get a bottle! 💀💸💀 SHARE THIS NOW or be cursed with non-updated software til the end of time! 🥴✌️ #iPhone17 #AppleEvent2023 #ByeByeWallet 🛒💔