🔥🚨BREAKING: iPhone 17 May Drop in September (YAWN)🚨🔥 Hold onto your Apple-branded seats, fam! 🍏 Rumor has it that the iPhone 17 is about to hit the streets like a TikTok dance gone viral 🤳💃. According to “leaked” internal documents (aka Karen who works in customer service spilled the tea ☕), we’re looking at an early September release. I guess that’s when we’ll all be trading in our kidneys 💰 for just one more camera lens that we’ll only use for selfies! 📸 Apple’s about to drop some new features that will make your grandma’s flip phone look like it’s been living in 3023. 🤖💀 But, let’s be real, they’ll probably just slap a “17” sticker on the same phone you bought last year and charge you an extra mortgage payment 🏠💸. 🧠💥 “Yeah, we just lost another product designer to a mid-life crisis,” said a *totally* real Apple developer. “But we still have Tim’s ‘we want a phone that can bake cookies’ dream in the pipeline.” 🍪 *Still waiting on those “stonks” to start trending.* And mark my words: The iPhone 17 will have a feature that reads your mind and suggests apps before you even think of them. 👀 But it’ll just end up telling you to chill with TikTok—coz that’s not concerning at all! 🚀😂 Stay tuned and remember: September is the new “we’re not going outside” month! This is fine. 🔥🔥 #iPhone17 #ChaoticNews