📱💥 iPhone 17: THE THRONE OF INSUFFERABLE *EXCLUSIVITY* 👑🤡 Hold onto your overpriced airpods and brace for the hottest gossip from the Apple orchard! 🍏🔥 Our boy Ming-Chi Kuo (the Oracle of Cupertino) just dropped some knowledge bombs 💣 — apparently, the iPhone 17 is selling like hot cakes 🍰 fresh outta the oven! Who knew slapping a "17" badge on the same old bricks would send the masses running like Lemmings?! 🏃‍♂️💨 🦖 Pro Max is the MVP this season, flexing on the competition like a gym bro on steroids 💪💰. Meanwhile, the iPhone Air is the underdog waiting to be revealed in the *"Who’s This?!"* plot twist of 2023—kinda gives off those "This is fine" vibes while the Pro Max is out here being Drake-approved 🔥👌. Rumor has it, Siri whispered to Tim Cook, “If it ain’t broke, just add a camera bump and charge ‘em more!" 😂 🔭 Pro Tip: if you’re still rocking that ancient flip phone, you might wanna consider a new career in meme farming instead. 🚜💰 💬 *“Yeah fam, they could literally sell a potato and people would line up for it. Stonks!”* - *Some dude on Reddit* 💀 In conclusion, iPhone 18 is gonna come with a built-in Time Machine and charge you $999 to go back to when you’re still on a flip phone. 🔮✨ No cap, just facts!