🚨💥BREAKING: Apple Unleashes iPhone 17 Chaos!💥🚨 Gather ‘round, tech fam! 🍏🤯 Apple just dropped the iPhone 17 on us like it’s hot, and I’m here for the meme-age!! 🔥👀 Get ready for more cameras on that bad boy than I have followers (and that’s a lot, fr fr). Say hello to the *iPhone 17 Air*: thinner than your high school crush's self-esteem and just as likely to break under pressure! 💔📱 And if you thought your wrist couldn't get any more pretentious, enter the Apple Watch Series 11! It’s got so many updates it could basically run the Pentagon 😂🕵️‍♂️. Who needs 50,000 apps when all you do is check your heart rate? 🤔 #Cringe #Stonks! But wait, it gets wilder! AirPods Pro 3 are in the mix, now monitoring your heart rate because obviously you need to know how stressed you are while listening to “Chill Vibes” playlists. 📈💓 And here's a leaked convo from Tim Cook, probably: “Hey, how do we make people feel less special about their existing products?” “Just make it thinner. They’ll eat it up. 😂” Prediction time: Soon we’ll have iPhones that come standard with a therapist subscription. 💀🚀💰 #ThisIsFine