🚨🍏🎉 IT’S APPLE SEASON, BABY! 🍏🚨 Get ready for the biggest case of FOMO this September! You know Apple is about to drop the iPhone 17 like it's the hottest mixtape of 2023. 🎤💥 So here’s the tea: 🍵 We’re talking about upgrades that’ll make you question your life choices. *Did you really need that 13 in the first place?* 🤔💔 Meanwhile, Tim Cook is probably sitting on a throne made of iPhone 16s, cackling like a supervillain. 👀 Rumors say the new phone will have a camera so good you could use it to replace your old high school yearbook photo. 📸✨ And what’s this? A “unicorn mode” that *actually* makes you cooler? LMAO, stop the cap! 🦄🤡 But wait—there's MORE! 🎁 People are speculating that a new version of AirPods will be unveiled. But we all know that’s just Apple’s way of saying, “Look at us! We innovated... again!” 🔥🔥 In leaked developer chat, someone was heard saying: "Guys, let’s just slap ‘17’ on it and add another lens. *They’ll eat it up!*” 🍽️💰 Classic Apple logic, honestly! So here’s my *totally serious expert prediction*: By 2030, Apple will have a phone that just *projects* your IP address instead of existing physically. 📞💫 Conspiracy theorists unite! Share this hot mess if you’re ready for the iPhone 17 to change your life… or at least your TikTok game! 🚀💀 #AppleEvent #Stonks