🔥🚀 **Breaking News, Y’all!** Apple is about to drop the iPhone 17 at their annual “everyone’s too broke to afford it” event, and here’s what we’re expecting! 🚨💰 👀 **What’s that? A thinner iPhone?** That’s right, the iPhone Air is coming in at a jaw-dropping 5.55mm thick! Thinner than your high school crush's rationale for ghosting you! 💀 But wait, let’s not forget that "thin" comes with its own *massive* bag of “whoops.” ❤️‍🔥 Expect a single 48MP camera (just enough to document your sad life on TikTok) and a battery that runs out faster than your motivation on a Monday! 📉😅 Man down, folks! The new Air is like, *“We’re here for the vibes, not the functionality!”* It’s like if Drake was a phone: all flash, no substance. Drake be like, "Don't make me take this to the store for a refund!" 🤣📉 Can’t wait for Tim Cook to present this masterpiece of *underachievement*, complete with a dramatic pause before announcing the *$1,200 price tag* because *obviously* we’ve all got a pile of stonks just lying around! 🤑💸 💡 **Leaked Quote from Tim Cook**: “We know you love to pay extra for the *just barely* functional stuff.” 😂 Brace yourselves, folks. I predict one month from now, 75% of Twitter will be saying, “This is fine” as they buy into the Apple narrative! ***This is the future!*** 💀🔥 #Apple #iPhone17 #CrispyThin #ThisIsFine #GetReadyToSeethe