🌌🚨 BREAKING NEWS IN THE APPLEVERSE! 🚨🌌 Hold onto your mouses and get ready to unsubscribe from the cringe factory that is the iPhone 17! 🍏💔 *Frosted Flakes voice* “They're GRRREAT!”… but only if you’re holding the titanium edition, which🙄, wait for it… ISN'T for everyone! 😱🥴 So, Apple decided to let only ONE iPhone model sip that sweet titanium elixir while the others get left out like an NPC in a video game. Bruh! 🤦‍♂️ Can you say *major cope*? 😂 "Sources" say that the lucky model is... *drumroll please*... the iPhone 17 Standard! 😳✨ Yeah, that’s right, the vanilla-flavored, mid-tier EXPLOITATION MODEL gets the titanium while all you Pro Max simps weep into your unsold stock. 💰🤖 Apple engineers said, “We had to give the Titanium to the one that needs it most... like how my mom told me I had ‘potential’ in third grade.” Now THAT, folks, is a heartwarming roast! 🔥🔥 Prediction: In 2030, Apple will release the iPhone 25 made of *EXCLUSIVELY* moon rock and charge $9999 for it. 💸🌕 Remember, you heard it here first! 👀💀 #Stonks #ThisIsFine