📱🔥 GUYS! Apple just dropped the iPhone 17 and I’m here for the chaos! WHO NEEDS REALITY WHEN YOU CAN HAVE 6.3 INCHES OF OLED GLORY? 💅💎 SAY WHAT?! A 48-MEGAPIXEL rear camera?? I can literally see the pores of my haters from 100 miles away! 📸👀 That’s right, more pixels than my *entire personality*! And the new 12-megapixel Center Stage front camera is basically the star of a new “Let’s ignore my bad hair day” reality show. 🎥✨ 📏 “Bro just make it square and we’ll call it an upgrade!” said no one ever, yet here we are! Now ALL of your selfies will be landscape mode, bringing us one step closer to a dystopia where we only take selfies in landscape. #ThisIsFine 🔥💔 But let’s be honest, Apple: these *just* color variations? LAME! They act like a fresh coat of paint is the same as a personality upgrade. 💅🧑‍🎤 *Meanwhile, the Android squad is out here flexing full-on multi-cam shenanigans while we’re stuck in Apple’s cozy, monochrome hellscape!* YOU KNOW WHAT’S NEXT? iPhone 18 will have a built-in therapist app to help you cope with your buyer’s remorse after spending stonks on this! 💰💀🥴💬 🔮 MY HOT TAKE: Apple is going to announce they’re releasing an iPhone shaped like a slice of bread next year. This is how the world ends, folks. 🍞🚀 #iToast