🎉🥳🚨 HOLD THE PHONE, iPhone Fanatics! The Apple cult is ready to drop its latest offering like it's a hot mixtape! 🎤🔥 Prepare your wallets, folks, because the *iPhone 17* event is coming in hotter than a TikTok dance challenge! 🕺💹💰 🗓️ When’s it happening? Less than a week 😱!!! Apple’s about to bless us with *another* overpriced shiny brick 📱💸. You know the vibes: 10% cooler design, 20% more cameras (seriously, who are we photographing?? 🤳), and a new color that's literally just “really dark gray.” 🖤💀 But wait, there's more! 🍏😤 According to "leaked" insider sources (aka Tim Cook's dog 🐶), they might announce another subscription service for YOUR SOUL 💀☠️. “New iPhone, who dis?” said a random developer while sipping on overpriced oat milk lattes in the office kitchen. ☕👨‍💻 Just your average Monday in Cupertino, amirite? 🤡 So how do you *watch* this fever dream? Just open your wallet and your sanity will float away. 🌀✨ 🎯 Prediction time: iPhone owners are going to throw their wallets at Apple, and the only thing they're going to catch is the new meme format of *iCan’tAffordThis* 😂💔. 🥴 STAY WOKE, squad! 🍏🚀🔮