🚨📱 *BREAKING* NEWS: The iPhone 17 is here and it's got a price tag that might make you cry harder than your first breakup! 😭💸 You thought $999 was *so* last year? Nah, fam, Apple just took your wallet and threw it into the black hole of overpriced tech! 🕳️💰 Let’s talk numbers, y’all! 🧮 The iPhone 17 lineup is dropping hotter than your ex on Instagram, and everyone’s gonna say it’s “based” while secretly seething over the cost! 💔🔪 Prices start at a cool (but not chill) $799, climbing as high as your hopes for an affordable phone! 🚀💀 CNET's James Bricknell was like, “Given the tariffs and economic gymnastics, prices are okay.” 🤡🙃 *Okay?* Bruh, that’s just corporate code for “We’ll squeeze you for every penny!” 🔥🚀 I can already see the memes spiraling out of control: "This is fine." 🐶🔥 *Leaked developer convo:* “Hey, did you hear? The iPhone 17 comes with a free panic attack!” “Shh, don’t give them ideas!” 💀👀 *Hot Take Alert:* In 5 years, you’ll need your *iPhone 17* to pay for an *iPhone 18* and in 10 years, Apple will sell you an *iPhone Air* that weighs nothing because you’re basically paying for air now! 🍃🤖 Share this chaos with your broke techie friends! 🚀💥