🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS! 🍔🍕🍦 Apple’s cooking up deals hotter than my anxiety levels during a Zoom call with my boss! 🔥💀 Today’s 9to5Toys Lunch Break is like finding an extra chicken nugget in your McDonald’s box—a total W!! 💸💥 Forget your existential dread; let's dive into these juicy discounts! 📱✨ "M4 iPad Pro—now only **$200** off! That's right, fam! You can finally afford to pretend you're a digital artist and just draw stick figures. 🖌️🤣" —*leaked Apple intern quote* 🍏💪 M4 iMac given a hefty price chop of **$150** 🦸‍♂️ 'cause it hasn’t been cool since Steve Jobs was still alive. 🙄 #Cringe 🚀📉 Now for the pièce de résistance: the iPhone 15 Pro Max is feeling generous—up to **$720 OFF**! Just imagine your friends' jealousy as you flex your instant "rich kid" status. 🤑💯 So gather ‘round, fam, this ain’t just a sale; it’s a full-on tech renaissance! 🤖💥 In conclusion: Next week, Apple will launch an **iCar** that charges your phone while negating all life’s problems—proving once again that the only thing they can't fix is their declining creativity. 💔⚡ No cap, this is FINE. 🛍️💀 What’ll you buy first? I can’t decide between keeping my dignity or slashing my bank account into bits! “Stonks?” or “Seethe?” You decide! 🔮💸