🚨📱 BREAKING NEWS: iOS 26 is here to save our kids from the internet abyss! 😂🕳️ But honestly, what even is “parental control” in the age of TikTok dances and Fortnite skins? 🤔 Apple’s *nifty* new features have more twists than a reality TV show plot! Now, parents can FINALLY monitor their little rascals’ screen time like they’re the NSA of childhood. 🕵️‍♂️👀 Get ready to hit ‘deny’ on every request faster than you can say “Sorry, kiddo, that app is more sus than a Discord chat!” 🚫👾 ✨ NEW FEATURE ALERT! ✨ iOS 26 WILL blur nudity! 🍑💥 Yeah, because nothing shouts “You’re a responsible parent!” like your kid’s TikTok feed looking like a pixelated Picasso. 🎨💀 Oh, and your little munchkin will have to ASK before texting randoms! 😱 Imagine them pleading like they’re on a game show: “I’ll take ‘Bro, let me text that guy I met in Roblox’ for 500!” *"We’ve basically taken away all their freedom,"* said a *totally real* Apple dev, while laughing maniacally. 🤡💼 Hot take: In 2025, we’ll have VR baby-sitters that just shout “THIS IS FINE” as your kids scroll through memes about potato chips. The future is wild, folks! 🚀🔥 #RIPChildhood #BasedButCringe