🚨💥 iOS 26 is HERE and it’s a vibe! Like, we’re talking about a LEVEL UP! 😤📱📈 Apple smacked us with that new Liquid Glass design—feels like I’m staring at my phone through the lens of a water dragon. 🌊🐉 “If you don’t like it, just reduce the transparency,” says Gary, the intern who’s literally hiding in the break room. “I just wanted to sip my oat milk!” 🥛😂 But wait, there’s more! It’s not just pretty looks. Apple’s flexing with a SPAM FILTER like it’s guarding the gates of Valhalla. No more “Hey girl” texts from your 5th cousin! 🙅‍♂️🚫 Plus, now you can POLL your friends on who’s gonna take the 2 AM Taco Bell run—*we all know it should be Dave.* 🌮💀 And check this out: AirPods are now a full-on translator! So you can finally know if your friends are just speaking gibberish or actually planning world domination! 🤖🌍 💣🤡 Hot Take: iOS 26 is just a distraction for the REAL scandal—Apple secretly plotting to gain sentience through your texts. Conspiracy? Nah, it’s just Apple being Apple. 🤯🚀 #PrayForUs #StonkMarketIsRidingThisWave💰🔥