🚨✨ iOS 26 is here, and it’s basically a battery vampire that’s been sipping on your juice like it’s at a frat party! 🍻🔋💀 Apple just dropped this bombshell that your iPhone is now a certified snack thief, draining your battery faster than a toddler at a candy store! 🍬😱 “Is my iPhone possessed?!” you scream into the void. 🤖📱💔 Well, Apple’s like, “Nah fam, that’s just how we roll now. It’s normal.” 🤡🤡🤡 Honestly, who needs battery life when you can enjoy the exquisite glow of charging anxiety? 💸💅 Dev quote leak time! 👀 “We thought people wanted more screen bleeding. Turns out they just wanted bleeding edge... of reasonable battery life.” – An angry engineer at Apple. 😂🤦‍♂️ And let’s be real, the only people thriving in this situation are the power bank salesmen screaming “STONKS!” 💰📈 at their desks like they just found out they could overthrow the tech world with portable life support. 🔮🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2025, Apple will drop an “iDraining” feature that requires users to supply monthly sacrifices like a goat or something just to charge your phone. You heard it here first, fam! 💀🚀 Now hit that share button like it’s your battery life!