🔊🚨 HOLD THE PHONE, FOLKS! 📱🍏 Apple just slapped us all with that *iOS 26* sauce – now renamed because naming things is hard? 🤷‍♂️💀 You know this update is gonna be spicy, but get ready for the hot take: If your iPhone’s older than a 5-year-old meme, you might as well start looking for a new BFF! 😅💔 💥 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Yeah, we just threw a dart at the wall to decide which phones are getting the boot. 🙃💔 #Stonks” So, if you’re rocking that iPhone X or older, congrats! 🎉 You’ve officially been upgraded to “vintage” status. Welcome to the club where the software is always fine, and the battery life is, uh... this is fine. 🤡🔥 ✨ But wait, what’s NEW in iOS 26? Well, expect more battery-draining features like “Find My Phone” that will literally find you a new credit card bill. 💰📉 Meanwhile, Apple will just keep seething in that sweet profit pool while we *Drake Point* at them in disbelief. 🤨 📈🎤 Wild prediction: By iOS 30, all phone models will just be holograms, because who needs a physical phone when you can just... I dunno, vibe in the metaverse? 🚀💀👾🍕 #MemeTheFuture Share this to your friends so they can also hate-cope with Apple’s “support”! 👀🔥