🚨 STOP SCROLLING! 🚨 Get your pitch decks ready, fam! 💼💰 Because we’re about to dissect the secret sauce 🍔 that makes Silicon Valley investors wet their pants in excitement! 😱✨ 🔮 So, tryna impress the big dogs at TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 on October 27-29? Wanna turn those investor frowns upside down? 🤡💥 Here’s what MEDHA, JYOTI, and JENNIFER (yeah, we’re on a first-name basis now) will THRASH about on stage: 1️⃣ **Show Me The Money!** 💵 No cap, if your pitch doesn’t scream “this is gonna make me stonks,” they’re gonna be looking at their phones like they’re watching a TikTok cringe compilation. 📱🚫 2️⃣ **Family Guy Vs. Rick and Morty** 📺: Either keep it light and catchy OR go full galaxy brain🧠🌌. Ditch the PowerPoints for an interpretative dance if you have to. People *love* a good meme reference! 😜 3️⃣ **The “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” Factor** 🧈: Investors want that *REAL*ness! If you're not vibing fr fr, they'll be out faster than their last stock market crash. 📈💔 Also, shoutout to the imaginary developer from my mind palace who said, “Honestly, just pitch a dating app for NFTs. People will buy anything.” 🤖💔 🔥 So get ready, disruptors! If you’re not pitching like your life depends on it, you’re just another cog in the cringe machine! 🚀💀 People will either be cheering, *“This is fine,”* or prepping for the biggest seethe of their lives. 😤 🔥**PREDICTION:** Within 2 years, AI will be pitching us