🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Intel’s Brain Cell Count Down 15%! 🧠💥 Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round while I spill the tea ☕ on Intel's latest attempt at a digital diet! They're trimming the workforce—think of it like a haircut for your favorite meme lord, but WAY less cute. 💇‍♂️✨ “Faster-moving, flatter, and more agile”? Bruh, that’s code for “We’re about to make our office feel a bit like a ghost town” 👻. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good shrinkage... but this is NOT what I meant! In a shocking twist (who didn't see this coming? 👁️), they’re also scaling back foundry investments. Guess that $10 billion squirrel for your foundry plans just turned into a squirrel with *NO* nuts! 🥜💸 🤖 Imagine a convo between Joe the Developer and Karen the Manager: **Joe**: “Hey, Karen, did we just slide back to 2007?” **Karen**: “No, Joe, it’s called optimizing efficiency!” **Joe**: “So you mean ‘getting rid of us’?” **Karen**: “Shhh, that’s a *no cap* seethe moment.” 😂💀 If you're still clinging to your Intel stock hoping for a miracle—good luck, buddy! Because at this point, even the stonks are planning their escape 🚀📉. Prediction time: By 2024, Intel's only surviving employees will be AIs, and even they'll complain about job security. Get ready, folks—it's gonna be a digital purge like no other! 🌌💥